In the waiting
Dear younger me,
Recently, I visited two individuals that you’ll meet in college.
Side note: I won’t spoil with name drops, but one of them you won’t even like when you meet. She won’t like you either. It’s okay, first impressions aren’t your thing. Ten months into knowing each other you’ll have lunch and a conversation that will spark an unbreakable bond. I add this to encourage you to read the book before you write it off. Some will not only be a surprise, but a lifelong gift, like this friendship where you’ll plan trips just to have coffee.
Back to the reason I’m writing to you. Throughout the three day weekend, countless topics were covered. One seems to keep replaying. I was left with this question, “How does waiting increase your capacity and perspective?”
That question came as inspiration from witnessing my friend form beautiful traits in a difficult season. Yet, isn’t it a question to reflect on everytime you feel a desire that isn’t yet satisfied. You know that ache.
Remember when we wanted nothing more than to be an artist. Daydreaming and desiring to have a guitar. One day, you walked in after doing your chores and the starter fender kit was set up in the living room: electric guitar on a stand, amp, music stand, picks and a letter saying you were starting lessons. That day sticks in our mind because it felt as if we dreamt it to life. We took care of that guitar as if it were breathing. Cautious not to bump into a potential danger. Prioritizing practicing until our fingers were raw. Our lifetime of dreaming for that moment was space to grow our appreciation and awareness to handle it with care because of what grew in us during that season of waiting.
On the other hand, do you remember the UFO frisbee? You wanted it, saw it at a store, bought it and lost it in the wind after a single throw. You got it without waiting and didn’t handle it with care.
This isn’t a lesson on idolizing objects. It applies wider and deeper. For example, you have a deep relational ache of being close to your sister. You wait, pray, journal, cry, hope and repeat for 24 years. Those 24 years are foundational moments that cultivate a character to not take your now best friend for granted, an appreciation of differences, a desire to grow in communication and an attitude of widening perspective. Waiting for this relationship is the training ground that shapes you into the friend you desire to be to others. Now I know, I would wait 24 years again just to experience the friendship I have encountered in the past two years with her.
My question for you to reflect on is: how whatever you are waiting for creates capacity in you/your character to carry whatever it is you are waiting to hold? Or what have you received and possibly mistreated, with lack of care, because you overlooked the beauty of something that came without the wait?
Personally, I am noticing a pattern to embrace the wait and welcome the internal changes occurring.
With love,
Older you